I like the idea of having a boyfriend, a male lover. But, there's one little problem: I'm not attracted to men. Well, that's overly-simplistic. I very, very rarely look at a man and think, "oooh, he's cute."
It happens, but not very often. I have learned over time, that I can become attracted to a guy through his... get this... personality. Crazy, huh? Of course, the problem there is most guys I meet have the personality of a wooly mammoth. And yes, I know they're all dead. That's my point.
Women, however, catch my eye, all the time. And it's often their personality that locks an attraction in.
But there's a bigger hurdle here.
Woody Allen once said it was great to be a bisexual, because it doubled your chances of getting a date on Saturday night.
All fine and good, if you're a bisexual with some sort of consistancy. I ain't one of them. My attraction wavers from day to day. A week ago, I was feeling rather gay. It was 90% attracted to (the idea of) men, and 10% toward women. But a few days later, I was closer to 60/40. And for a few days after that, it was more like 10/90.
Today, however, it's moved back to about 55/45.
How could I ever enter into any kind of serious relationship with a roving identity like that? How could I ever tell someone, "sorry, I'm not in the mood for sex tonight, because you have the wrong genitals. Try again tomorrow." Am I the only one, or are other bisexuals like this as well?
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3 comments:
Sheesh. You and Riz both on the same day. Must be sumthin in the air.
Hmmm... that all sounds familiar. Before I transitioned, I was totally 100% into women. Now, well, I've been with my current boyfriend for over 2 1/2 years (and with my previous one for a year). I've never thought much about how a man looks, as long as he isn't a total toad and he takes care of himself... 98% of what attracts me to a man is his personality. As for women, the pretty ones still catch my eye, but even with them, I find myself more drawn by the personality than looks. Another weird thing... I'm attracted to butch women... never was before I transitioned, but I am now.
The farther along I get in this great escapade, the better the men are looking. Sex with either was always good, but it leaves me saying, "Is that all there is?" I figure it's because I don't have the right part yet. I sure hope that's what it is. If not, ....sigh
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